


Birth

by resdaMalos



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-21
Updated: 2010-08-21
Packaged: 2017-10-11 04:50:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/108587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resdaMalos/pseuds/resdaMalos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat fulfills his role as a carcinogeneticist, and witnesses the creation of his friends. But in doing so he learns something else about himself that he wasn't willing to admit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birth

"Okay, seriously, what in the hell is going on in here?"

His body still tingling from the experience of being appearified grub-knows-where, Karkat's eyes wandered around the walls of the room. He was met with pipes, readouts, and all manner of blinking lights, buttons and switches. Further ahead, there were large test tubes, their frosted glass obscuring amorphous blobs of black and white.

His keen intuition revealed to him that he was standing in some sort of scientific facility.

Jack had mentioned this place to him - called it the carcinogenetics lab or something. "What a coincidence that I wind up here," he thought to himself, as he walked down the hallway, away from the teleporters. "Coincidence, or fate." He turned the thought over in his mind.

Come to think of it, hadn't he seen this place before? Wait... He stopped in place. "Fuck." He had seen it. In his cloud-dreams, or whatever Kanaya called them. He had called bullshit on her and Sollux when they tried to explain it. But damn it all if he was going to admit to their being right.

Though there was no lighting to speak of, Karkat noticed the ambient light of a computer monitor at the far end of the hall. With nothing else guiding him, he continued down the long hallway. As he walked, he listened to the hum of the machinery - loud enough to be noticed, but not enough as to be grating to the ears. It rang in his head, pulling him away from his thoughts, and it was all he could do to try to remember them. What had he seen himself doing here? I mean, if these grub-fucking-quote-unquote-dream-cloud-vision-shits were to be trusted, he had to have been doing something important. Otherwise, why would have have had a vision at all?

He passed a test tube, and stopped to peer through the glass. A black blob was beginning to form a humanoid shape - a short, bulbous thing with an overlarge head. In the tube adjacent was its mirror image, but in white. No claws or teeth, but they reminded him vaguely of the imps he had been mowing through the entire game. Jack had mentioned this, too - the carcinogenetics labs were used to engineer soldiers for their war. _But for both sides?_

The computer terminal drew nearer. Drawn to its light, he made a beeline for it, and almost knocked something over. Before it fell, he reached out to right the hunk of cloth and plastic, only noticing what it was once it was back upright. It appeared to be... a lab suit. It was made of durable, stiff cloth, a shirt in light gray, pants near-black, with red-colored shoes. He eyed it carefully. "This cut... it might fit me. No. It fits me exactly," he corrected himself. "This thing couldn't be made for me, could it?" He answered his own question by looking at the belt buckle - on it was the distinct symbol representative of his lusus, the exact one he had chosen for his shirt. Karkat's resolution and bravado wavered for a moment. The game knew he would be here. But in a fit of rebellion, he donned the suit. "Bring it on, game."

He approached the console at the end of the hall. Twelve computer screens arranged in a plus-shaped pattern displayed, in unison, a single image - a blue hive-shaped cursor, with a countdown displayed underneath, slowly ticking away. "Could this... is this the controller for the Reckoning?" _No way,_ he told himself, _it wouldn't be that easy._

But if it was... if he himself could stop the countdown, prevent their world from being destroyed... Karkat Vantas, savior of Alternia. He liked the sound of it. His eyes grew serious, his attitude resolute. "WE'RE DOING THIS, MAN." he told himself, quoting a stupid comic from a planet that had not yet come into existence, "WE'RE MAKING THIS HAPEN."

He looked down at the console. A single, gray button was located off to his left, alongside a joystick, which apparently served to do nothing, at least for now. To his right, a green button with a spirograph depicted on its face; dead center, a button, glowing bright blue, a depiction of an array of twelve circles printed in white relief. There was no keyboard or mouse input, much to his chagrin - only the blue button was apparent, just waiting to be pushed. Karkat made a note to gloss over this particular part when relaying the story to the others.

He pushed the button, feeling it click under his fingers. The display flickered off, all the monitors now pitch black. "I did it," he told himself. "Fuck you, game! I BEAT YOU! TAKE THAT AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR PROTEIN CHUTE!" he yelled, his victory cry echoing through the otherwise empty hallway. For he had risen to the game's oddly simplistic, but obviously very important challenge, and stopped the Reckoning from occurring. Oh, the others would get a kick out of this.

But his thoughts were cut short by the audible flickering of monitors springing to life. "Round two, eh game? I can take you." He looked at the screen, and immediately scratched his horn. Two screens at random lit up, displaying two angles on the same scene. "Wh... what is this?"

Tavros rocketed through the sky, screaming for his lusus, tears forming in his eyes, either from the sheer speed at which he was whipping through the air or the sheer pants-shitting terror he was experiencing. "Probably both," Karkat muttered to himself, allowing a little laugh.

On the other screen was Vriska, asleep atop a makeshift bed of... were those broken eight-balls? Karkat groaned, a palm striking his forehead. "What the hell is she doing asleep? Good job, Thief of Light!" he taunted her.

Tavros's rocket chair impacted into the side of a hive perched atop a plateau overlooking a blue ocean - Vriska's hive, no doubt. No sound accompanied the crash; the feed apparently did not include audio. Not that he was looking forward to hearing Vriska's voice - in fact, that might have been a little bonus. As the dust settled, Tavros dangled precariously from a web in the corner of the room, and Vriska herself still lay asleep, curled atop her makeshift recuperacoon.

Tavros toppled out of the chair; the impact seemed to awaken Vriska from whatever deep slumber she was in. She immediately craned over his body, a devilish smile on her face. "Oh my!" Karkat almost heard Vriska say, "Pupa Pan! What are you doing here?" Karkat attempted an amazing facepalm x2 combo, with unmitigated success.

Vriska continued her wordless monologue, Tavros still dazed after the crash. After adding insult to injury by throwing dust in his face, she picked him up, dusted the powder out of his eyes, and...

WHAT?

Karkat watched in horror, eyes moving from one screen to the other, as Vriska planted her lips on Tavros's unwilling mouth in stereo. "What the flying fuck is this?" As he leaned forward, mouth agape, Karkat's hand lay across the blue button. He pressed it.

Behind him, he could hear machinery springing to life. A panel opened behind him, revealing another teleporter, with four empty glass chambers, tubes leading into and out of them, a central hub with a closed, circular port on it, and yet another teleporter. _An appearifier?_ Karkat thought, trying to piece it together. But before he could react, a pile of goo appearified itself onto the platform. The blue and brown mixture looked almost as if it was... "Oh, this is fucking disgusting." Karkat spit. "That's his... and her... THIS IS FUCKING DISGUSTING."

Without any further input, the bottom left glass chamber lit up, a spade symbol flashing beneath it. "Kismesissitude?" Karkat mouthed, as the slurry was sucked up through a small tube into the chamber. "If that counts as a caliginous relationship, it isn't a very good one." The machine seemed to echo his sentiment; the chamber began to fill with slime, but quickly stopped.

Again, he tried to process what was going on. "These chambers must be like filial pails," he thought aloud. "So, what, this is some kind of mechanical mother grub? And why are there four chambers?" Seeking answers, he turned back towards the screen. Vriska was now manipulating Tavros into kissing back. He strained weakly to pull up to her face; Vriska changed her mind, allowing him to drop to the floor. "Okay, this is stupid. Like the worst romcom ever written." Karkat looked down at the console - the button to his left was flashing. "I hope this changes the channel."

It did, in fact. Two new screens lit up, as Tavros's and Vriska's switched off. The scene: Alternia, pre-apocalypse. Sollux's respiteblock. And was that... Aradia? Sollux scratched a horn, muttering incoherently. Whatever he said caused Aradia to laugh. _This must have been a while back,_ Karkat thought, _Aradia doesn't laugh anymore._ The two leaned towards each other, lips drawing nearer. Karkat snickered, mentally filing this scene to use as fodder against Sollux later. As their lips locked, and their passion was at its peak, instinct told Karkat to press the blue button again.

Another slurry, this time red and yellow, appeared, and was subsequently sucked into the top left chamber. "Matespritship," Karkat noted. "Then the other two are... moirallegience and auspiticism? The hell?" He scratched at his horn again. "Conciliatory relationships shouldn't be represented here." Turning around, he pressed the left button again. A new scene. Equius, hunched over a computer, decidedly cross, talking over Trollian to Nepeta, who looked much more cheerful. One blue button later, the top right chamber filled with a mixture of blue and green genetic material.

Karkat continued alternating button presses, and scene after scene appeared on different screens, populating the chambers with slime. Kanaya talking down Eridan and Vriska simultaneously, in a stunning show of auspitice. Aradia tearing out her new heart, crushing it to pieces, then kissing Equius full on the lips. Terezi pouncing atop Nepeta over Trollian during another roleplay. Sollux, ready to jam a fist into Equius's face, Aradia holding them back - _did that actually happen?_ Karkat thought, _or is this taking the future into account, too?_ Eridan reaching a hand out to Feferi, saving her from a precarious fall into a sea of red blood - [i]It is.[/i] Karkat's eyes widened. He continued to press the buttons. Kanaya, again, presiding over Tavros and Vriska, trying to settle them down. Gamzee grabbing Nepeta and giving her a full on bear hug. Kanaya, again, this time auspitice for Terezi and Vriska. Aradia summoning the dead into Vriska's home, and her killing her in response, using Sollux as a tool. Click, slime, click, scene. It continued for a while, the chambers slowly filling up with the results of a complicated matrix of full- and half-relationships of redrom and blackrom alike. But one screen remained unlit.

Karkat's screen.

_What the hell?_ Karkat thought, as he continued his routine as junior carcinogeneticist. _I thought I'd be a kismesis for Terezi. Or Vriska. Or Nepeta, even. Or... okay, maybe I'm just angry to them. But aren't I at least moirails with Sollux? Or Gamzee? Though I'm angry to them too._ The thought began to dawn on him. "Have I ever done anything besides hate everyone?"

He stopped, left hand hovering over the button. The chambers were almost full. There was one shot, for him to possibly be included in this mix. Click.

Kanaya again, auspitice for... Gamzee and Equius? _That one didn't even make sense!_ He roared at the machine, as the last drops filled the chamber. More machinery sprung to life, as the chambers emptied into some out-of-sight central chamber. The port on the large block opened, waiting to accept one final piece of genetic material - the matriorb, which had been serendipitously deposited into Karkat's inventory not too long ago. He pulled it out of his modus, almost crushing it in his rage.

"So. My mutant blood is worthless." He felt ready to slap himself for even thinking it. _But it must have been true!_ He approached the central hub and looked down, seeing the incestuous slurry churning below. Everyone else was represented in this slime. He didn't even get to contribute - _the lowest of the low, lower than low, genetically culled from the gene pool._ He gripped the orb harder.

His hands began to sting - for in his rage, he forgot the simple fact that troll horns can be sharp. The matriorb had tinges of red over it, from the blood leaking from his hands. He gazed in wonder at it. "Fuck, really? This is how I get involved?" With a cry - half anger, half despair, he threw the matriorb down into the slime. The port closed, and machines began to whir. Karkat slumped down against the hub, as light vibrations slowly massaged the rage out of him. "This game is a pile of fucking shit," he muttered.

Suddenly, a flash of light blinded him. When the spots disappeared, he found the strangest sight - twelve young trolls, post-pupation, crawling around on their fully formed hands and knees. _They look kinda like us,_ Karkat thought, as he stole a glance at their horns. He did a double take. The baby trolls' horns were miniature replicas of their own horns. "Holy fuck, these are us."

Karkat paced the room. "Fuck, these trolls are us! What the grub-fucking-shitstained-fuck is going on here? Ugh, didn't Jack talk about this? What did he talk about? Paradox clones? Oh, jegus, these really are us."

Some of the babies began to cry - Karkat looked up to see some of the trolls, crying for help, as Feferi and Eridan gasped for air and Gamzee struggled for breath on half-formed gills. "Fucking royal bloods!" Karkat yelled in a panic. _There's gotta be some water around here!_ Karkat raced for a test tube, pulled out his sickle, and shattered it with three quick stabs. The bottom, fortunately, remained intact, and full of liquid. "There'd better be oxygen in that shit," he muttered to himself as he raced back to the platform, grabbed the triplets, and dropped them into the remains of the tube.

Feferi and Eridan calmed down somewhat in the aquatic environment, but Gamzee only looked worse. "Fuck you Gamzee!" He pulled him out of the tube. "UGH, what the hell am I supposed to do?" Gamzee was fading fast - Karkat saw no other option. "FUCK! You owe me, you asshole!" He put his mouth over the baby's face and gave rescue breaths. Gamzee stopped flailing about, and Karkat looked down in alarm - fortunately, his action opened Gamzee's lungs. He would be a land-dwelling purple-blood, but at least he'd be alive. Karkat slumped down again, as Gamzee cheerfully made his way towards the other nine trolls at the platform.

As the adrenaline seeped out of his bloodstream, panic began to set in again. If he was right, and these young trolls were them, then it was clear where a lot of these personal traits came from. All the purple-blooded trolls stemmed from a below-average matespritship between the two water-dwellers - Gamzee was the odd one out, getting genes from somewhere else. Kanaya's fussy nature came from Kanaya herself, auspitice for at least a half-dozen relationships. Sollux's split mind came from the redrom between himself and Aradia, and the blackrom between Aradia and Equius. Vriska's strong kismesissitude with Eridan produced their own murderous tendencies.

_Which left poor little Karkat all by his lonesome._ His hands tightened, re-opening the wounds, spilling new candy-red blood. He looked over at his younger self, already distancing himself from the other trolls. His mutation was his own. His blood came from himself, and no one else. True to his name, he had engineered his own cancerous, mutant blood. He never hated himself more than he did at that moment. For a moment, he was ready to draw his sickle, and end it early, but he relented.

Karkat walked over to the console. One button left to push. He pressed it - the screens flickered on in unison to display Alternia, in its full glory. Displays reading "Meteor Trajectory" and "Impact Site" clued him in. There would be no culling here - when this meteor and all its clones touched down, it would kill off the others in their so-called generation. They alone would remain, and be selected by twelve different lusii, and raised as if they weren't freaks of nature. It was sickening.

A rush of wind welcomed the appearance of a return node, colored gray - a way back to the Land of Phaze and Blood. Karkat stood up, and walked briskly towards the node. "Fuck this game. Fuck it and its paradox-cloning, world-destroying bullshit." When he found Jack again, he'd take his deal. Together, they'd break this game in _half._


End file.
